I have been fascinated by natural beauties that have all the perfect features, self- confidence to walk on stage and charm audiences ever since I began watching televised Miss Universe pageants during my teenage years.
I could never be like them. How does it feel to be like them? I don't know.
I had the opportunity to be among these beauty pageant contestants and winners, but as a person organizing behind the scenes. I was proud of their achievements, proud of their courage to go for what they want in life.
Maybe I do feel a notch down compared to those type of women. When with them, I'm never the one the men want to speak to. I'm treated as those beautiful women's "assistant." And I know that in their presence, I have to take a back seat.
To me, these women will never have problems attracting men, getting rich boyfriends, and settling down to be rich men's wives.
As I grow older, I've had to build my self- confidence when meeting men. In my mind, I would compare myself to those beauty queens. Hmmm, why would a guy want me when he could have a beauty queen?
That is the demon in my head talking. He caused a lot of damage throughout my life. For years, I went through countless relationship advice, from religious figures, parents, online relationship gurus....I think I have bought so many relationship advice e-books that I have even lost some of them.
Then, I also realize that some men have a hard time approaching beautiful women too. "Wow, she's got a beauty title, so glamourous and all...she deserves a rich man to take care of her. How can I even compare?" You'd be surprised that some men actually have thoughts like that. I know I was!
( A good male friend of mine shared with me... his ex-girlfriend went on to win a beauty title. And he never approached her again. (sob). His behavior may be explained here...
What Men Desperately Want You To Know But Could Never Tell You )
( A good male friend of mine shared with me... his ex-girlfriend went on to win a beauty title. And he never approached her again. (sob). His behavior may be explained here...
What Men Desperately Want You To Know But Could Never Tell You )
Well, perhaps you'd think that, well, the girl who is "not good enough" to be a beauty queen might possibly hook up with the guy that is "not good enough" to have a beauty queen.
Other than working on my self-confidence, I also found it really eye-opening to read about men, how they think and behave, and why is it that I always chased them away? :(
A lot of the books that I read taught almost the same lessons. Maybe these "gurus" just copied those advice off of one another! But I think this guy is pretty genuine and I've watched his interviews on tv. And his advice is easy to understand.
This is a great e-book to have an overall view of understanding men, by Michael Fiore:
What Men Desperately Want You To Know But Could Never Tell You
Don't get me wrong. There are men that are real jerks too. I've met a few nice guys who turned out to be jerks in my life. There are also many men who are really genuinely nice and would love to love me. I'm looking for him.
So, I not only had to learn to love and accept myself for who I am, and see myself within, without comparing myself to those beautiful beauty queens, I learned to be more confident by learning about men's nature and how to relate to them, and how they really want to know the genuine ME (without thick make-up, cosmetic surgery, boob job...)
Next, I'll share with you which books or gurus inspired me on loving myself just the way I am. :)
Not A Beauty Queen
